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• chapter 27
  
  slartibartfast's study was a total mess, like the results of an
  explosion in a public library. the old man frowned as they
  stepped in.
  
  "terribly unfortunate," he said, "a diode blew in one of the
  life-support computers. when we tried to revive our cleaning
  staff we discovered they'd been dead for nearly thirty thousand
  years. who's going to clear away the bodies, that's what i want
  to know. look why don't you sit yourself down over there and let
  me plug you in?"
  
  he gestured arthur towards a chair which looked as if it had been
  made out of the rib cage of a stegosaurus.
  
  "it was made out of the rib cage of a stegosaurus," explained the
  old man as he pottered about fishing bits of wire out from under
  tottering piles of paper and drawing instruments. "here," he
  said, "hold these," and passed a couple of stripped wire end to
  arthur.
  
  the instant he took hold of them a bird flew straight through
  him.
  
  he was suspended in mid-air and totally invisible to himself.
  beneath him was a pretty treelined city square, and all around it
  as far as the eye could see were white concrete buildings of airy
  spacious design but somewhat the worse for wear - many were
  cracked and stained with rain. today however the sun was shining,
  a fresh breeze danced lightly through the trees, and the odd
  sensation that all the buildings were quietly humming was
  probably caused by the fact that the square and all the streets
  around it were thronged with cheerful excited people. somewhere a
  band was playing, brightly coloured flags were fluttering in the
  breeze and the spirit of carnival was in the air.
  
  arthur felt extraordinarily lonely stuck up in the air above it
  all without so much as a body to his name, but before he had time
  to reflect on this a voice rang out across the square and called
  for everyone's attention.
  
  a man standing on a brightly dressed dais before the building
  which clearly dominated the square was addressing the crowd over
  a tannoy.
  
  "o people waiting in the shadow of deep thought!" he cried out.
  "honoured descendants of vroomfondel and majikthise, the greatest
  and most truly interesting pundits the universe has ever known
  ... the time of waiting is over!"
  
  wild cheers broke out amongst the crowd. flags, streamers and
  wolf whistles sailed through the air. the narrower streets looked
  rather like centipedes rolled over on their backs and frantically
  waving their legs in the air.
  
  "seven and a half million years our race has waited for this
  great and hopefully enlightening day!" cried the cheer leader.
  "the day of the answer!"
  
  hurrahs burst from the ecstatic crowd.
  
  "never again," cried the man, "never again will we wake up in the
  morning and think who am i? what is my purpose in life? does it
  really, cosmically speaking, matter if i don't get up and go to
  work? for today we will finally learn once and for all the plain
  and simple answer to all these nagging little problems of life,
  the universe and everything!"
  
  as the crowd erupted once again, arthur found himself gliding
  through the air and down towards one of the large stately windows
  on the first floor of the building behind the dais from which the
  speaker was addressing the crowd.
  
  he experienced a moment's panic as he sailed straight through
  towards the window, which passed when a second or so later he
  found he had gone right through the solid glass without
  apparently touching it.
  
  no one in the room remarked on his peculiar arrival, which is
  hardly surprising as he wasn't there. he began to realize that
  the whole experience was merely a recorded projection which
  knocked six-track seventy-millimetre into a cocked hat.
  
  the room was much as slartibartfast had described it. in seven
  and a half million years it had been well looked after and
  cleaned regularly every century or so. the ultramahagony desk was
  worn at the edges, the carpet a little faded now, but the large
  computer terminal sat in sparkling glory on the desk's leather
  top, as bright as if it had been constructed yesterday.
  
  two severely dressed men sat respectfully before the terminal and
  waited.
  
  "the time is nearly upon us," said one, and arthur was surprised
  to see a word suddenly materialize in thin air just by the man's
  neck. the word was loonquawl, and it flashed a couple of times
  and the disappeared again. before arthur was able to assimilate
  this the other man spoke and the word phouchg appeared by his
  neck.
  
  "seventy-five thousand generations ago, our ancestors set this
  program in motion," the second man said, "and in all that time we
  will be the first to hear the computer speak."
  
  "an awesome prospect, phouchg," agreed the first man, and arthur
  suddenly realized that he was watching a recording with
  subtitles.
  
  "we are the ones who will hear," said phouchg, "the answer to the
  great question of life ...!"
  
  "the universe ...!" said loonquawl.
  
  "and everything ...!"
  
  "shhh," said loonquawl with a slight gesture, "i think deep
  thought is preparing to speak!"
  
  there was a moment's expectant pause whilst panels slowly came to
  life on the front of the console. lights flashed on and off
  experimentally and settled down into a businesslike pattern. a
  soft low hum came from the communication channel.
  
  "good morning," said deep thought at last.
  
  "er ... good morning, o deep thought," said loonquawl nervously,
  "do you have ... er, that is ..."
  
  "an answer for you?" interrupted deep thought majestically. "yes.
  i have."
  
  the two men shivered with expectancy. their waiting had not been
  in vain.
  
  "there really is one?" breathed phouchg.
  
  "there really is one," confirmed deep thought.
  
  "to everything? to the great question of life, the universe and
  everything?"
  
  "yes."
  
  both of the men had been trained for this moment, their lives had
  been a preparation for it, they had been selected at birth as
  those who would witness the answer, but even so they found
  themselves gasping and squirming like excited children.
  
  "and you're ready to give it to us?" urged loonquawl.
  
  "i am."
  
  "now?"
  
  "now," said deep thought.
  
  they both licked their dry lips.
  
  "though i don't think," added deep thought, "that you're going to
  like it."
  
  "doesn't matter!" said phouchg. "we must know it! now!"
  
  "now?" inquired deep thought.
  
  "yes! now ..."
  
  "alright," said the computer and settled into silence again. the
  two men fidgeted. the tension was unbearable.
  
  "you're really not going to like it," observed deep thought.
  
  "tell us!"
  
  "alright," said deep thought. "the answer to the great question
  ..."
  
  "yes ...!"
  
  "of life, the universe and everything ..." said deep thought.
  
  "yes ...!"
  
  "is ..." said deep thought, and paused.
  
  "yes ...!"
  
  "is ..."
  
  "yes ...!!!...?"
  
  "forty-two," said deep thought, with infinite majesty and calm.