• amerikalı confessional şair sylvia plath’in günlükleri. eşi ted hughes tarafından ilk olarak 1982 yılında yayımlanmıştır. kitabın %60’ı önceden hiç yayımlanmayan yazılarından oluşur. ben şahsen günlük okumayı çok seven biri olarak en sevdiğim günlük derlemesi diyebilirim. bir kadının çığlığı, mutsuzluğu, kadın olmanın her zamanki gibi ağır olduğu yıllar...

    kitaptan sevdiğim bazı alıntılar:

    “frittering. being with people. i say it is people i need, yet what good have they done me?” (nasıl müthiş bir sözdür bu!!!)

    “i desire the things that will destroy me in the end.”

    “i need a father. i need a mother. i need some older, wiser being to cry to. i talk to god, but the sky is empty.”

    “i am both worse and better than you thought.”

    “it is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.”

    “i need someone real, who will be right for me now, here, and soon”

    “how many futures — (how many deaths i can die?)”

    “being born a woman is my awful tragedy. from the moment ı was conceived i was doomed to sprout breasts and ovaries rather than penis and scrotum; to have my whole circle of action, thought and feeling rigidly circumscribed by my inescapable feminity. yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars--to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording--all is spoiled by the fact that i am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. my consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. yet, god, i want to talk to everybody i can as deeply as ı can. i want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...” (p.77, july 1950-july 1953)

    “i simply don’t know what to do. all joy and hope is gone.”

    “what horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.”

    “why can’t i try on different lives, like dresses, to see which one fits me and is most becoming.”

    “some girl a hundred years ago once lived as i do. and she is dead. i am the present, but i know i, too will pass.”

    “i want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; and never shut myself up in a numb core of nonfeeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. to learn and think: to think and live; to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.” (p.167, july-1950-july 1953, /january 26, 1953, monday morning.)

    “i can’t get outside myself.”

    “someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? for all my despair, for all my ideas, for all that - i love life - but it is hard, and i have so much - so very much to learn-“

    edit: imla
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