sadakatsizlik

• tuhaf duygu.
  hayatta kendimden utanmadigim çok az özelligim, pek az tecrübem var; gel gör ki sadakat bu nadirlerden biri : aldatildim ama hiç aldatmadim.
  
  önce kirmizi pinokyo, ardindan mavi bmx : bisiklet alaninda tek torunlara yarasir bir çocukluk yasadim. seneler geçip de çocukluk hayalleri sönünce^* bir baska umudun pesinde yildiz'dan uzaklara, paris'e geldim^*. sanatin, sanatçinin ve en çok da dalida'nin dostu, notre dame katedralinin önündeki meydana anna wojdyla'nin amcasi karol wojtyla^*'nin ismini vermek isteyen ateist homoseksüel baskanimiz^* sagolsun, artik paris'te herkesin serbest kullanimina acik bisikletlerimiz var. en güzel bej vespalar gibi estetik, e haliyle fransiz oldugu icin kelime oynuna da sahip gri bir farecik. "vive la vélorution^*!" çocugu, özgürlük^* bisikleti^* vélib.
  
  iyi-hos da, özgürlük sadakatsizlik mi demek?
  eskiden herkesin bisikleti kendineydi. çocuklar gece bir gözleri açik uyurlardi. kilitler boyna inci kolye diye asilirdi. sahibi ölünce, bisiklet köpek gibi mezarin dibinde dikilirdi; kolunun gücüne güvenen bisikletini mezara kendiyle birlikte gömerdi. tutmayan frenleri, diz kanatan kovalamacalariyla eski bisikletler eskiydi ama sadikti. güzel vélib'in hatlari yuvarlak, tombis yanaklari tatli; danseder gibi kayiyor yokustan asagi^*. ama yarin baska bacaklarin arasindan da kayacak, selesine diger popolar konacak.
  
  özgürlük güzel ama, bence artik sen de herkes gibisin objet petit a vélib'im. seni kirmak isterdim ama belediyede abone kartim var, ceza yazarlar.
  
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  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$**""""""""**$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$p""________________^"*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$p"________________________"*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$*______________________________"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$p__________.ze$______$ee.__________*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$"________zd$$$$$______$$$$$$c________^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$"_______e$$$$$$$$______$$$$$$$$e________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$"______z$$$$$$$$$$______$$$$$$$$$$c_______$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$"______z$$$$$$$$$$$______$$$$$$$$$$$b______^$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$p______4$$$$$$$$$$$$______$$$$$$$$$$$$l______3$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$"______$$$$$$$$$$$$$______*$$$$$$$$$$$$_______$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$______4$$$$$$$$$$$p________"$$$$$$$$$$$f______$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$______4$$$$$$$$$$"___________*$$$$$$$$$$______$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$______4$$$$$$$$p______________^$$$$$$$$p______$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$______^$$$$$$$"_________________"$$$$$$f______$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$r______$$$$$p______._____________^*$$$$______.$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$______^$$$"______z$______$c_______"$$"______d$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$l______^*______.$$$______$$b.______^"______4$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$c____________z$$$$______$$$$e____________.$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$c_________.$$$$$$______$$$$$$._________z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$b_________"*$$$$______$$$$*"_________e$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$c___________""______""___________.$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c____________________________z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$e.______________________.e$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$be.______________.ed$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$eeeeee$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$sosis$$$$$
  
  hay allah pati gibi agdali duygusal entry yazdim. zaten ne demek istedigimi de unuttum.
  
  bari kapanisi sarki sözüyle yapayim da yazarlik kariyerime gölge düsmesin :
  
  yosun tutmus taslar gibi
  boynu bükük kuslar gibi
  affolmayan suçlar gibi
  terk edildim, terk edildim
  terk edildim kaderime.
  
  - din dini nini di nini ni ni nin -