tools

• "i want to build something.
  i want to grow a garden and tile a bathroom with you.
  i want to plan vacations and meet your parents.
  i want to talk in bed and get to know each other deeply, filled with trust
  that it is permanent so i can be open and let down my guard.
  i want to barbeque with friends and go on bike rides.
  i want to iron those pants you leave balled up at the bottom of your bed
  while you tell me your plans for tomorrow.
  
  i want to build something.
  
  i want to shop for food and then cook together while we talk about our day.
  i want to travel with someone who holds my hand and who draws my attention to the stars.
  i want to create a life and a future together.
  
  i don't want to live my life in the middle, longing for more but taking what i can get,
  always waiting for some day when things will get better.
  
  this is it. this is life. i want to live and love without restraint.
  i don't expect perfection. i am willing to take less than perfect
  and put as much energy as i have (and i have a ton) into making a life that is interesting,
  intense, full and happy. there will be trouble but not more than we can overcome.
  
  this is my desire... not for the future but now and forever.
  
  i have tools. " diye depresyon hirkasi ile yazilmis bir hede.